


Junior Year Tryouts

by merkintosh



Series: drabbles [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, incorrect history, offensive thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Puck tries out for the football team and tries flirting with someone new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Junior Year Tryouts

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, I know nothing about football or what you would do at a tryout/practice. Also, this was written before Coach Beiste had a name.

When Puck strolled onto the field for tryouts that morning, he hadn't expected to see a she-beast in the place of Coach Tanaka. Sure he had heard about Tanaka's leaving (it was hard to ignore the rumors about him going crazy in the middle of the supermarket and trying to strangle the deli workers because they ran out of provolone cheese), but this woman was built like a brick shithouse and had a voice deeper than Luther Vandross. This didn't mean that Puck wasn't going to make every attempt to get inside her boxer-briefs, but that was more because a)she was female and b)it was expected of him. Hell, he'd do Coach Sylvester if he wasn't afraid her vagina had teeth.

When she started the tryouts by having them run around the field until his legs felt like noodles and then made them sprint, tackle, catch and tackle until he could barely crawl to the bench, Puck knew that football was no longer going to be the easy varsity letter sport it had been when he'd first tried out Freshman year. Coach was hardcore and even though Puck hated to ever admit that a woman was more capable, at least she was better at the job than a half-man like Coach Tanaka.

After his shower Puck could barely get his clothes back on, he was that tired. It was a good tired though like when he'd had that marathon afternoon with Mrs. Nielson when she'd been snorting Adderall. He headed over to knock on the office door.

"Come in," Coach said without looking up from her notes. Puck entered and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. "I didn't say sit down."

"Sorry," Puck said before struggling to stand back up.

"Now you can sit down." She said, finally looking up to peer at him from over her reading glasses. Puck felt the urge to grind his teeth together but refrained. He sat down.

"What?" She said as she looked back down at her notes.

Puck leaned forward on the desk, "Coach, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a fantastic job and I think it's awesome that you, a woman, has been made coach of a football team. This is exactly why the Equal Rights Amendment was passed."

Coach looked up at him again and narrowed her eyes. Puck straightened up a little and figured he needed to cushion his words with some visual flirting. He didn't want her to think he was ignoring her more feminine aspects, even if her tits weren't that great to look at. Checking out a person who was seated behind a desk was hard though.

"Look kid, I need you to shut up and never speak again in my presence. Ever. In fact, I need you to wear a cup at all times when I'm around. You got that?" Coach said as she put down her pen and took off her reading glasses. "Now, you're an ok player. Lazy, but most everyone on this team is lazy since it wasn't like you needed to try hard before. But my team? Is going to be a team of do-ers, of winners, and I don't want anybody slacking of or trying any tricks to get out of doing their fair share. So stop thinking with your dick and try using your head. Now get out." Puck got out.

He hated to admit it, but Puck was actually a little excited about football starting up again. Junior year was looking pretty sweet.


End file.
